Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
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