Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Randomize
