Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
