The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Randomize
