why didn't you poke me back
Duck Duck Cougar?
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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