The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
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