Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
