You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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