so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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