This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
