You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
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He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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