thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
