nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Randomize
