I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
