we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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