Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
