The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
