did you get engaged???
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Randomize
