Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
either way he was missing a nipple.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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