"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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