I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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