woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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