I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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