there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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