Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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