You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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