Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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