Whod you bang
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
