I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
