I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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