Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
