Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
