is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
