I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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