ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
