i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
