have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Boobs are out for the taking
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Randomize
