Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
