yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
