What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize
