and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
