my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
