Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
