You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
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