I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
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