Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
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