I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Randomize
