Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
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Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
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Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I FOUND THE LEGS
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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