I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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