So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
