Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
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I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
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Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
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