So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
he fucked my hip out of place.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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