Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
