Will you blow on my dice?
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize