you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Randomize
