Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize