You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
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We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
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I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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