I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
