I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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