I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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