Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
